Research shows that, setting boundaries is beneficial for more than just defining our identity. Having them in place limits our exposure to stress and the body’s production of adrenaline and cortisol [the stress hormone]. It also protects our mental well-being and keep us safe in all our relationships. Here are 6 ways teachers can establish healthy personal boundaries amongst school children:

1. IDENTIFYING BOUNDARIES: Helping school children know what boundaries are or where they lie is important. Identifying where they currently stand - if they are getting pushed around too often or they are completely resistant to change - is the starting point for setting either fewer or more boundaries. Their values will inform the setting of the boundaries which in turn helps you maintain a calm atmosphere devoid of chaos in your class. 

2. START SIMPLE: It is just as important to set boundaries with your pupils, as it is to set boundaries with other people. The only way to begin, in both respects, is to start simple. Any life skill requires practice and maintenance to reach a desired level. Rather than completely pushing back on children who are overstepping, there are small steps that you can take first, such as letting them know they can politely tell a friend, who makes them feel pressured into doing something they don’t want to do. This small step will give you the confidence to say no in future weeks when they don’t feel like following their friends.

3. EXPECTING RESPECT: You deserve kindness, even in communication. If you feel your pupil is speaking with a disrespectful tone, you are within your right to caution such a pupil. Let them know that if they want to have a conversation, it must come from a place of respect. 

4. COMMUNICATING DISCOMFORT: Whether your pupil tells a hurtful joke or crosses a physical line, learning to articulate your discomfort clearly will help in setting your boundaries. Let them know what you will not tolerate, and plan a course of action if he or she crosses that boundary.

Phrases like “Please don’t do that, it makes me uncomfortable” or “I don’t like it when you (e.g.: use that word, touch me there, use that tone) are clear and concise. 

4. LISTEN TO YOUR FEELINGS: If you aren’t sure about where your class boundaries should be, it might be a good idea to check in with your feelings as well as those of your pupils. The sensations in the body now and then usually give an excellent indication. Encourage pupils to look out for signs that include an increased heart rate, sweating, tightness in their chest or stomach, and other general feelings of discomfort. Of course, just because you feel these sensations does not mean that you should close yourself up to the world — that won’t help you in any way. Feelings are like roadside directions, they let us know what areas we should investigate a little further.

5. LEARNING TO SAY NO: The biggest way to achieve personal boundaries is learning to say ‘NO’. Finding it extremely difficult to say no to social gatherings for Fear of Missing Out is common. You might also find yourself doing loads of favours for people who asked you even though they could have probably done those things themselves. Having a friend who encroaches too far into your stuff, but you struggle to tell them no because they are your friend. The reason most people face resistance to saying no is that, they are worried about how it will make the other person feel. You are allowed to say no without an explanation. People will be fine with you saying no.

6. SET CONSEQUENCES: This ensures that your boundaries don’t get overstepped. What stops people from breaking the law? Consequences. What stops children from misbehaving? Consequences. What is going to stop people from violating your boundaries? Consequences! People will try and get away with whatever they can. If you don’t put your foot down, your boundaries won’t be taken seriously. The consequences don’t have to be drastic, just a stern rebuke will usually do the trick.

Don't only set consequences but also stick to them, otherwise they won’t be taken seriously.