Your child just had another meltdown. Again. In public. And your first instinct? Embarrassment. Followed by frustration. Then, maybe a lecture or a smack or both. But let’s pause for a moment—what if it wasn’t just “bad behaviour”?

Children don’t always have the words to express overwhelm, anxiety, confusion, or hunger. So, they act it out. What we see as stubbornness is often a silent cry for help.

As a school, we’ve seen it. And I can’t count how many times a “troublesome” child simply needed understanding, not punishment. Nigerian parenting tends to assume children should always be quiet, respectful, and controlled. But children are learners. Emotionally too.

Let’s ask questions like:

1. Is my child well-rested?

2. Did something happen today at school or home?

3. Have I been truly listening lately?

Every tantrum has a message. It’s not always pretty, but it’s usually honest. When we start interpreting behaviour instead of just reacting, we raise emotionally intelligent children—and that’s the real win.

So, what can you start doing?

Here are some practical ways to help your child through their outbursts:

✅ 1. Ask Questions Before Reacting

Instead of shouting immediately, pause and ask:

“What happened?”

“Are you okay?”

“Why did that upset you?”

It helps you understand what’s going on behind the behaviour.

✅ 2. Observe Patterns

Take note:

Does it happen at bedtime?

After school?

Only with certain people or in specific places?

This will help you spot triggers and work around or through them.

✅ 3. Teach Them the Words

Young children especially don’t know how to say things like “I feel left out” or “I was embarrassed.” So give them the words:

“Are you feeling sad?”

“Was that too loud for you?”

“Did you feel ignored?”

It’s a game changer.

✅ 4. Be Firm Without Being Harsh

You can correct without crushing:

“It’s okay to be angry, but not okay to hit.”

“Let’s talk about it when you’ve calmed down.”

You’re showing them how to express, not suppress.

✅ 5. Model the Calm

Children mirror what they see. If you yell, they learn yelling. If you stay calm—even while correcting—they begin to copy that too.

✅ 6. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

If the behaviour feels too much or you're feeling overwhelmed, talk to someone: a teacher, a counselor, or even us at school. You're not alone.

It takes patience, yes. But we’re not raising perfect children—we’re raising real ones.

And real growth takes time, love, and a little bit of grace.